


Our Yandere Lovers are SO Romantic :D

by MutsumiMaeno



Category: Yandere Simulator (Video Game)
Genre: Comedy, Crack Fic, Death Threats, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Kidnapping, M/M, One Shot, Stalking, What am I doing, Yandere, Yandere!Budo, Yandere!Saki, Yandere!Shoku, Yandere!Yuna, ah... what the heck, i should be studying, this gets dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-19 21:58:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17609801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MutsumiMaeno/pseuds/MutsumiMaeno
Summary: This is a crack-fic with five students talking and gushing about their Yandere lovers towards each other. This gets kinda dark... though it's all meant to be comedy and makes fun of Yanderes and their tropes. Hope you find this enjoyable.Warning: This gets kinda dark.





	Our Yandere Lovers are SO Romantic :D

The wine-red sunset sky is a reminiscent of a beautiful portrait as five people sat on the outside canteen area of the school. The five of them chatted happily, finding a commonality and kinship towards each other. They each smiled as they shared on their love stories and how they got a̶b̶d̶u̶c̶t̶e̶d̶ courted by their respective lovers.

Though the conversation was interrupted as Yui's phone rang. "Awww!" He giggled.

The others seemed intrigued by Yui's blushing face. "What happened?" Itachi curiously asked.

"Yuna just sent me the CUTEST FUCKING text EVER! Look!" She smirked, feeling proud.

_Yuna: hi babe! you better not talk to other girls while i'm not at school._

_i still have your brother on my basement_

_Sent: 7:32 PM September 1, 2XXX_

_Yuna: love you bb! <3_

_Sent: 7:33 PM September 1, 2XXX_

_Yuna: where are you?_

_Sent: 9:12 AM September 2, 2XXX_

_Yuna: i broke into ur house and im horny_

_Sent: 9:13 AM September 2, 2XXX_

_Yuna: come here soon bb!_

_Sent: 9:13 AM September 2, 2XXX_

_comming! <333333! :Yui     _

_Sent: 9:14 PM September 2, 2XXX_

**_RECENT MESSAGES_ **

_Yuna: where are you and who are you with?_

_Sent: 4:20 PM September 4, 2XXX_

_Yuna: you better not lie to me_

_Sent: 4:20 PM September 4, 2XXX_

"She always wants to know where I'm at, who's with me, all of that... and that is SO FUCKING ROMANTIC OF HER TO DO." She sighs dreamily. "What did I do to deserve her?"

The others smiled in glee. "That's so cute! Budo's the same way to me... there was this one time that I _almost_ got hit by a truck and then he locked me up in his house for many months that my parents called for a missing person report... ugh... parents are sooooo embarrassing!" Shin laughed. "Gosh, he's so protective. I feel safe when I'm around him."

"Awww... what a nice feeling...!" Kokona remarked.

"Yeah... he's always been that way with me ever since we were kids."

Itachi raises his thick eyebrow. "Wow... childhood friends?"

"Yup!" Shin nods in excitement. "Throughout the years he has progressively gotten even more protective over me.... one time he attempted to tie me up in my bed after I hung out with a girl like, a few days ago before that incident. We weren't a thing back then but now looking back at it... his reaction was so cute...! He was totally jealous!"

"Ugh... your lover is so romantic when jealous...." Yui added. "Mine just injures and tortures my kidnapped brother in her basement.... talk about bad in words and actions.... though I still love her and most of the time she's just moody.... Ahahaha!"

Yui scratches her head in embarrassment, though it was such a funny thing to be embarrassed about.

"Welly well well well!!" Kokona cuts in. "I hate to brag to you guys but... Saki is soooo~ totally into me! Did you know what she said to me?"

Yui's eyes glinted, clearly feeling threatened of having her girlfriend's 'best girl' title be snatched by Saki.

"She said..." she paused, hyping it up. "That she'd kill me and THEN herself if I ever thought of breaking up with her."

A chorus of squeals echoed in the area. "What??? So not fair! That's total dedication right there!" Yui screeched.

"It's like seeing all of the romantic movies all at the same time!" Shin's face turned even more red. "You're so lucky Kokona! You should marry her."

Sounds of agreement resounded in the canteen. However, Itachi raises his hands to call for a silence. "Girls, Ladies, Gentlemen, let me tell ya something about my man."

The group huddled together, eager to hear about Itachi's story. "Give the deeeeets!!!" Kokona screeched.

"Okay, you guys' stories are cute as heck, but my man!" Itachi clutches his chest, face turning red. "He does this small little things that really shows how much he loves me! He's totally bad in words and expression... but he's making it up through actions."

"Ohh? What does he do?"

Itachi smiled. "Ah, the usual... he cooks for me often, offers to wash the dishes, gives me 'massages' every night, know my location at all times despite me not telling him, has full access of all of my social media accounts even though I didn't give him my passwords, offers to take out the trash for me, he picks out what I wear so that I don't look attractive to other people, cleaning the house, and giving me hugs each time I get home from hard practice...."

"Wow... he really loves you... you're like, the Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask of this generation..." Shin commented.

"Well, just let me tell you about what position we tried out last ni-" Though he was cut-off with a sudden ring of his cellphone. The contact ID on the phone was unfamiliar to others.

"Who the heck is 'Mantaro-ko'?" Yui asked exasperated.

"Oh..." He shakes his head. "Shoku gets jealous when he sees that the contact info on my phone is a guy so... I had to rename all of my teammates into girl names so he doesn't get like that.... I was even forced to rename 'Dad' into 'Dadina'... ahahha!"

"Dedication right there." Taro nodded.

Itachi was about to say more when he noticed it. "Wait... Taro.... you just broke-up with your girlfriend right? Ah.... and here we are talking about our happy relationships...."

"Oh.... I'm sorry Taro..." Kokona gasped.

"Hey... It's fine guys...." He raises his hands in denial.

Yui narrows her eyes. "You don't have a lover.... what could be worse than that?!?"

"Despite the everything that I've suffered through our separation... I've accepted that she'll always be a part of my life..." he pauses. "...literally. As in, she's actually stalking me right now and she's hiding behind that bush over there." He points to the random rose bush in the corner.

All heads turned to the suspicious bush. Now noticing minor details such as the eyes peeking through the leaves, stray hair on the twigs, and her fingers peeking through.

"Oh... my god..." Yui gasped. "That is so.... SEXY!"

"I know right?!" Shin cried. "Stalking me is like, the very first step of Budo and I's relationship... he doesn't do that anymore, opting for GPS.... ugh. I missed the traditional way... I gotta talk to him about this...."

"So what did you do when you were with her?"

Taro blushed. "Oh... nothing much... going on dates, learning her mom's recipes, contracting a Yakuza to kidnap and sell my childhood friend to a prostitution ring, her meeting my parents and sister while I meet hers, all of that romantic stuff in the movies. N-nothing much really?"

"Gosh, you even got a Yakuza involved on both of your escapades?" Itachi was dumbfounded. "She's such a catch... why break up?"

"I just wanted..." Taro smirked. "To spice things up..."

Everyone smiled in his direction. "Naughty boy!!!!!"

"So what does she do to try and take you back?"

He smiled. "Well, let me tell you... she's so excitable. She even sent me a threatening letter where she'll kidnap my sister and remove all of her fingernails by hand if I don't get back with her..." He blushed even harder. "I mean... one fingernail removal with just her hands is a lot of work... but all of them? I didn't know that was how much she loves me. Now I feel embarrassed that I fake broke-up with her."

"Boy." Kokona pats both of Taro's shoulders. "Take her back."

"Don't worry... already planning to do that." Taro smiled.

The group guffawed. Each of them now wondering how much love their lover would give them if they fake break-up with them too. After having another full cycle of talking about there cute lovers, they all headed home. Pleased and happy that there are people out there that's in the same situation as them.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by CollegeHumor's "Obsessive Boyfriends Are SO Romantic"
> 
> I feel like my mind strayed to places where I shouldn't be. How was it?


End file.
